Conspiracy theory meets katana

Lately, the conspiracy theorists have been coming out of the woodwork. I love the earnest way some of these people pursue their pet theory. My most recent conspiracy theorist was researching Charlemagne. Although this gentleman took great pains to explain his theory to me, I'm afraid I wasn't quite equal to the task. In any case, the theory goes something like this: Charlemagne brought Christianity to the Saxons--sword in one hand, bible in the other--but what he brought was in fact some kind of false Christianity. In reality, he was setting himself up as a Christ figure or perhaps totally manufacturing the religion of Christianity (never mind that this was the 8th century AD). I should note that somehow the fact that he was tall is important to this, but I'm a little foggy on the "why" of it. In any case, the Saxons were really some lost tribe of Israel (there was some convoluted semi-etymological tangent here) so all of us of Saxon or Anglo-Saxon descent are actually Jewish and were tricked by Charlemagne into worshiping him, er Christ, er whatever. Did I mention that the world is going to end in a few years because of this? It has something to do with good old Charlemagne and the Feast of the Tabernacle, but I'm not sure what, although the issue is confused somewhat by the problem of leap years, I'm told.

I know what you're thinking: "This is totally plausible," and "OMFG the world is ending. Head for the hills! Head for the hills!" Seriously though, the thing I love about this all is that you can go to your library, hunt for the information your looking for and put it together in the way you want. It's free, and fun, and even in the wackiest theory or idea there can be a kernel of real insight. After all, I too believe that members of certain religions have been grossly, if willingly, mislead, and even if Mr. Conspiracy's way of coming to this insight has been a tad unconventional, in my opinion it's a valid insight. In any case, in Library Land the Ivory Tower, George Bush and common sense need not interfere, for I, your friendly Samurai Librarian, is there to help you find the facts you're looking for--Katana in one hand Britannica in the other.